


power & control

by lasveras (orphan_account)



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, Dom/sub, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Master/Slave, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 11:59:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11508981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lasveras
Summary: Isak's a slave who's been working all his life. Having constantly been thin and unmuscular, he's never been wanted for sex - or worse, never been wanted for anything. So when the wealthy Even Bech Næsheim, and his rich beloved girlfriend Sonja, decides to get a slave - Isak finds himself constantly working to satisfy them. Even can't help but fall in love with the innocent boy, and Sonja wants nothing more than to see him burn in hell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ayeee!! so this is my first proper fic, and i'm sorry if there is any mistakes and so. i'm also not from any english speaking country, so i'm once again sorry if there is any weird phrasing and et cetera. 
> 
> if anybody from some english speaking country would like to beta this, that would've been highly appreciated. it would also be nice to send full length chapters to someone, who could read through them and maybe find better words or rephrase things. anyways, thanks for reading!

Like a lot of other slaves, Isak couldn't remember his life without being one. He had either been raised as one, or taken in at a very young age. His earliest memories was of the first house he served in, with his master being a tall, masculine, but slightly frightening man.

He had heard a lot of stories when he was younger; how masters and mistresses found pleasure in causing their slaves pain. How it satisfied them seeing their favorite pets bleed, begging them to stop and to be forgiven. In his first household, however, that never seemed to be experienced. With his first master treating him like his favorite pet – even messing up wasn't that bad.

That, however, was until his master lost interest in him and sold him to another man. Four years with his new master was a proper living hell.

There had been times in those four years where death had seemed preferable by thinking about what his life had become, and in the end – it was death that was delivered to him, but not his own.

Now back in the slave market for the fourth time, sold by his previous master because he managed to mess up the cooking, Isak thought about the situation. The brothels seemed slightly more even this time. He doubts whatever could possibly happen to him now, wasn't going to be worse than what he had been through. So when a tall, handsome man comes to look at him – Isak is nothing but quiet and calm.

The man examines him with a gloomy look in his eyes, nodding at some things he found satisfying with the boy – shaking his head slightly at others. Considering having worked all his life, Isak was in a pretty nice shape. However, visible scars could be seen some places on his body, after various punishments caused by previous masters. The man seems to be done with gazing at him – as if he didn't found Isak interesting enough. Who could blame him, though?

So when the man addresses him directly, Isak couldn't help but get slightly confused.

“I assume you can read, boy?”

“No, sir, ” Isak answers, in a steady voice while keeping his eyes lowered. His previous masters had never found the need to learn their toy how to read – as that seemed to never come in hand, and a waste of time.

“I see. What can you do then?” The man raised an eyebrow, as he tilted his head.

“I can write a little bit, and I know some mathematics, ” Isak tells him.

The man tilts his head a little bit more, before starting to walk into the direction of the slave trader. With words being exchanged, and coins to be seen – it doesn't take long until a heavy, white collar gets put around his Isak's neck – as he followed his new master out to a waiting carriage.

They only traveled for a short period of time, into a neighbourhood Isak had never seen before; consisting of huge mansion looking houses. His new master just had to be rich, Isak thought as the carriage stopped in front of one of the houses.

Obediently, Isak stepped out of the carriage and followed his now new master. Not receiving any orders, Isak found himself standing insecurely on the ground. His head was slightly lowered, as he waited for some commands.

His master, however, seemed to not have any clue about what was going on. “What are you waiting for?” He asked the tinier man.

Isak's eyes almost immediately looked up at his master. He couldn't help but bite his lower lip slightly, knowing that he already had messed up – without even being in the house he was supposed to serve in. He didn't want to go back to the market, nor gain punishments on the first day. “I-I am sorry, sir, I just thoug-” Isak spilled out, his words being both pleading and insecure. His master cut him off as he grabbed his hand in a quick movement, and headed towards the house. “Shush, ”

Isak snapped his mouth shut, and nodded a little bit. Did he talk too much? Did he say something wrong? He didn't know, but he definitely was going to stay quiet for now. The grip in his hand wasn't harsh, nor uncomfortable, but somehow felt gentle and careful as Isak managed to rest his hand slightly in the older man's one.

They finally got to what Isak assumed to be the front door, and the man pushed it open. He let go of the younger man's hand, as he took off his jacket and shoes. Isak, who was standing there, almost looked pleading at his new master for

some orders. What was he supposed to do? He was somehow afraid to talk, as he had been cut off the last time. Maybe his new master wanted him to stay quiet? Isak had no idea.

So when his master, once again, grabbed his arm and dragged him into another room – he remained silent. The room was huge, and consisted of a table, a huge sofa and tv, some expensive statues, and vintage paintings. Because of a following liking his previous masters had, Isak’s knees sunk down to the floor, causing him to sit in quite a submissive and waiting position.

“Even, is that you?” A voice shouted, sounding somehow faint, from what seemed to be upstairs. It sounded like a female voice, which Isak could confirm when a young, beautiful woman came into the room after a few moments.

A smile lit up on his master – or Even's face, and he quickly walked towards this woman. He gave her a perky, soft kiss on the lips. “Hey honey, “ He said, after letting go of the kiss. The woman gave him a huge smile in response; as she started to notice the young, blonde man.

Isak immediately felt his tiny bit of self-confidence run away as she gazed at him, examining him from his toes to his head. Afraid to meet her eyes, he lowered his head a little bit.

“Is that the one you bought?” The woman asked Even, as she turned to look at him. “Yeah, that's the one. He can't read, but he knows how to write a lil' bit. “ Even explained, as he too started to investigate Isak's body.

The woman walked towards him, and lifted his chin slightly from where he sat – causing the short man to look at her, even thought he didn't want to. “What's your name, little one?” She questioned him, and Isak found himself feeling unsure. Her eyes looked straight into his, and Isak wanted nothing more than to look away. Yet, he managed to stay calm, not willing to take the risk of being punished on the first day. There was just something about this woman that kept bugging him, however, but that wasn't really his choice to make.

“Isak, ma'am. “ He answered in a still voice.

The woman finally let go of his chin, as she backed off a little bit. Even smiled a little bit at her, as he spoke up. “Alright, Isak. My name is Even – I am your new master. You shall obey my orders, is that clear?”

“Yes, sir. “

“Good. And this – is my fiancée, Sonja. She’ll be your new mistress as well. ” Even added.

Isak couldn’t help but blink his eyes slightly in confusion at his words. Two masters? He had never had two masters at the same time before. What if one of them gave him one order, and the other one disapproved it? Isak’s conclusion quickly jumped to thinking that two masters, meant double as much work and way more punishments.

”Get up now, ” Even then said, and Isak let go of his anxious thoughts. He quickly got up on his feet, and locked his eyes with the man. Even turned his head at Sonja. ”I’ll just give him a tour, a bath and some new clothes, is that okay? ” Even whispered to Sonja in a sweet voice, and she nodded a little bit. ”Yeah, that sounds good for him, ”

Isak then followed his master out of the room, walking in a steady pace beside him. They got in to another huge room; that had the largest staircases Isak had ever seen. All of the house seemed to be surrounded by fancy furnitures, and old-fashioned decorations. Even led him up the stairs, as they now walked through a long hallway – with doors leading to different types of rooms.

He showed him a few of them – his bedroom, Sonja and Even's bedroom, the guest bedroom, the bathroom, the office, the second bathroom, and the library. Being now, at the end of the hallway, Even led Isak out to the final door – the door leading out to the huge balcony.

Isak felt the wind hit his face, and he found himself breathing in the fresh air. He could see the whole garden from the balcony; it was such a nice garden with so many different types of bushes and flowers. He didn't know most of them, but he did recognize a rose bush. He could remember someone giving his previous master a rose, one time.

“You'll be mostly working in the garden, ” Even then said, breaking the silence. His eyes fell on Isak, who sadly – couldn't focus properly. He was mesmerized; the garden was truly beautiful. “With Sonja getting a job and not being

home most of the time, she won't be able to water the flowers no more, ” He added; a little bit louder, in hope that Isak would listen to him this time.

It wasn't until now that Isak realized that he spoke to him. A little bit embarrassed, his cheek went slightly red. His eyes turned to look at Even, who now looked at the garden. “You know, Isak, I like to think of myself as a man of honor. ” His voice sounded dreamy, and immodest.

Isak couldn’t help but swallow at this.

“If you are nice, loyal and your behavior is good – I'll return the favor. But, if you're bad, destructive, wild, and totally uncontrollable – so am I, ” Even's eyes fell back on Isak, waiting for his response. Unsure of what to say, Isak only parted his lips, and nodded a little bit. “I'll try to be good, sir, ” Isak then muttered, his eyes being gloomy ones.

A smile then appeared on the other man's face. “I know you will, pet, ” Even said cheerful, as he ruffled Isak's hair in a quick movement. Isak's blond, curly locks fell slightly onto his forehead as he bat his eyes. Even then turned around, “Come now, ”

And Isak did.

Even led him then into the first bathroom, and closed the door. This bathroom had a huge bathtub, a shower, a washing machine, a drying machine, a fancy sink, and a red luxurious carpet. He walked over to the bathtub, and turned the tap. The tap delivered him consistently boiling hot water flowing down into the tub, after some few moments. Even turned around to face Isak.

“Have you ever been in a bathtub before, Isak?” Even asked; being slightly fascinated by the younger man. Isak shook his head. “No sir, I've only taken a few showers, ” He answered. “Then I guess this will be your first time, hm?” Even questioned the boy, once again. It wasn't really a question, more like a statement – a reminder that this was a new, fond experience. Isak felt himself smiling a little bit at this, the curve of his smile showing the dimples in his cheeks.

“You go ahead and undress yourself, I'll go and get you some new clothes, ” Was the last thing Isak heard from Even before he left the room. Go ahead and undress yourself. Was his master going to be there when he took a bath? Was he going to give him the bath? Did he want him to get naked?

Isak didn't know. Being naked in front of masters, for a matter of fact, wasn't new. When he got punishments, he often had to at least take of his shirt so the whip could hit him in the right places. After all, it was his fault – he was the one who messed up. He hadn't messed up already, had he? No, that had to be wrong. Even wanted to give him a bath – not punish him. Or?

Isak stripped himself down and neatly folded his dirty old clothes, putting them beside the sink. He then waited, standing there with nothing to cover up his tiny body. Isak wasn’t insecure, though. He had gotten a order. His master had wanted him like this. It was nothing to be ashamed of. Or maybe it was, but Isak just couldn’t let himself be.

Some time passed and there was no Even to see. Isak started to get a little bit worried, had he forgotten about him? He didn’t hope so. Isak started to count the minutes it took for him to come back, using one of his preschoolar skills.

After approximately 7.35 minutes, Even finally came back. He held some clothes in his arms – which appeared to be a coral green – slightly dark green sweater, a pair of black jeans, and some light ankle blue socks with some yellow dots on them.

Isak was a little bit confused about the outfit. Often, his masters didn’t want him to wear regular clothing. In fact, sometimes they wanted him not wear anything at all. This was brand new to him. He turned his eyes to look up at the man, who was placing the clothes beside Isak’s old ones.

Even’s gaze landed on Isak; studying the man for the fifth time this day. His whole body was exposed, and Even could see the faded scars all over him. He could see how small his legs were, how his collar bones stood out, and how his ribs could be seen. He was skinny; maybe a little bit too skinny for Even’s liking. He looked somehow anorexic, and Even quickly found out that some of his previous masters must have starved him more than once.

Even then guided the little man towards the tub. “ You can go in it, ” Said Even, as he watched Isak putting his foot in it.

The water was hot. Like, really hot. Isak felt his toes slightly burn as he tried out the water – but it wasn’t like he had a different choice. He had orders, and he was supposed to follow them. Somehow, against his will, he managed to get into the boling hot tub. It didn’t take long for Isak to realize that the warm water; had a very relaxing effect on him.

It felt good feeling something warm up on his skin; something hot that made his nerves and stress leave his confused mind, peacefully. Even stood behind the tub where Isak was now resting his head comfortably at.

The bathtub was one of the fancy ones, the ones that had both a shower head and two taps, one that turned on the shower head – and one for the water to go into the tub. The thing was genious, really, and could almost guarantee to satisfy whatever you felt like doing.

Even grabbed the built in shower and turned it on, making water spill out of the head. With his other free hand, he grabbed Isak’s forehead and pushed it down a little bit. “ Keep your head down for me, okay? ” He spoke softly, and Isak nodded a little bit. “Yes, sir, ” He almost whined. He hadn’t been treated so good in ages.

With one of his big hands, he placed one of them on top of Isak’s forehead. He made his hair all wet, before he ran several of his long fingers through it. Isak couldn’t say he had long hair, nor short, but long enough so his curls was constantly showing.

Isak felt himself getting dizzier; his thoughts and mindset drifting away, where the warm water seemed to be the only thing he was able to concentrate on. It felt good, though, where his master was now massaging what he assumed to be shampoo into his hair.

Even’s movements were firm, yet so soft and careful; and Isak couldn’t help but imagine it all being a dream. That he would somehow wake up at one of his previous masters house. That he would get punished for sleeping too long, being nothing but grateful to been let go with a simple beating.

It didn’t take long until Even stopped putting products in his hair, and the water from the shower head stopped. The boiling water that once was held in the tub drifted away, and Isak couldn’t help but miss it a little bit.

“There we go,” Even muttered to himself, and walked over to the clothes he had picked out for Isak. Isak, in return, was still sitting in the bathtub looking at every step his master took.

Even raised an eyebrow slightly, before he opened his mouth. “Come here, little one,” A small smile was placed on his lips as he spoke, and Isak nodded a little bit.

He quickly got out of he tub, and walked over to his master. Even placed the clothed in his arms, “Take these, and go to sleep. I’m sure you’re tired, ” 

Even left the room after that, and Isak found himself walking to his bedroom; that his master had shown him some hours earlier.

 

-

Isak opened his eyes slowly. The blanket was wrapped around him, and he sat up in his bed. He rubbed his eyes softly, his eyes being drowsy from ruining his perfectly fine sleep. There were some sounds coming from the hallway, and he got quietly out of his bed. With small steps, he walked almost careful up to his door.

He tried to register where the obnoxious sounds were coming from, and he almost immediately understood that it was no other than words.

“ Even, I can’t believe you picked out him! ” It appeared to be Sonja who spoke, and Isak felt guilt raining down on him. He was in no place to listen to their private conversation, in fact, a good slave would’ve ignored it and gone to sleep. Like he was commanded to do in the first place. Yet, he couldn’t manage to tear himself away from the door.

“What? What the hell is wrong with him? He seems like he could do most jobs, ” This time, it was Even that had joined the conversation.

“Even. Are you kidding me? Did you see him? He has about zero muscles! He couldn’t even lift a teacup if I wanted him to, ” Sonja had now raised her voice; apperantly not caring about being quiet.

“Sonja. That’s utter bullshit, you are underestimating him, ” Even stated.

“I am not. Did you see his body? And all those marks? He’s apperantly a boy that isn’t just weak, but a boy that misbehaves as well, ”

“Well, I –”

“Even. ”

Isak could hear Even sighting, and he swallowed harshly. He really didn’t like where this conversation were going.

“Fine. You’re right. I’ll get rid of him as soon as I can, ”

_Oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to follow my twitter at [here](https://twitter.com/notyourvera) for writing updates! tweets under the hashtag #pandcontrol would make me really happy, please let me know what y'all think <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak felt powerless. _Stop,_ he thought. _Please, please, stop._ He turned his head to the side again; trying to think of something else, but the tears were streaming down his face more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye! sorry for the long wait for the next chapters; i've just been a little bit stuck up with things going on in my personal life.  
> \+ i also wrote this in the middle of the night, when i was tired af, so if it sucks - that's probably why.

The next day when Isak woke up, he wasn't sure of what to do. Where to be. What to think, how to act. He could remember Even telling him to take the clothing he was given, and use it whenever he woke up the next morning. However, he had already put them on - and was now standing in his room, looking at the mirror that was hanging over the drawer. 

He knew that he should probably be somewhere else, maybe in the garden where Even had wanted him to work - to take care of the beautiful flowers, but at the same time, he was scared that he would do something wrong. His thoughts drifted away to the conversation he had heard last night, and he felt his chest tightening slightly from it. Isak was terrified of going to the wrong places, to not be good enough. He was scared of getting hit, of getting more scars to add up to his nasty collection that was more than visible on his skin. 

He scanned himself through the mirror as he studied himself. It had been a while since he had looked at himself like this, and he could now see for himself that he had gotten skinnier. His clothes appeared to be maybe one size bigger than him, if not two, and he couldn't help but look at the bruise that was showing on his cheek. 

Isak could remember how he got that bruise. He had gotten it from one of his previous masters; when he had managed to mess up. He always did. In fact, Isak was nothing but a fuck up when it came to the slave community. He wasn’t very solid; with his muscles lacking strength. He wasn’t very skilled at cooking, and he was for sure horrible at multitasking.

And, maybe the worst out of them all, he for sure was not pretty. That much he knew. All the attractive slaves usually ended up being used as sex slaves, which – as horrible as it may sounds, was what most slaves were longing to become. 

Because then, you knew you were beautiful. You had a purpose, something to live for and strive to become better at. You would never be left alone, and probably the most important part – you would always be loved. If only for the small parts, you would still be appreciated. Isak would never be appreciated like that.

He looked at his hair, his blonde locks being curlier than usual. He had always had a lot of curls, but as he didn’t shower much, and especially not clean his hair; his hair had turned into a greasy mess for most parts of his life. Now, it looked almost.. shiny. 

Using his hands, he reached up to it, and let his fingertips touch the hair that once had been a huge mess. It felt soft and fluffy, and Isak couldn’t help but smile slightly at the sensation. It was like he looked more awake. Did he look... good? 

He studied himself some more, before he felt an uncomfortable feeling growing in his stomach. This – this was the exact reason why no one wanted him, why he would never be good enough. He always did this. 

He would always lose track of time, and let his curiosity take over. That was wrong. Bad, even. In fact, Isak was nothing but downright bad. Tears started to well up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away. 

He glanced over at himself; with a look of disgust. Isak was ugly, not beautiful, and did not look good. He shook his head slightly caused by his previous thoughts before he quickly headed out the room. 

 

_He needed to do something._

-

Half an hour later, Isak was standing in the kitchen trying to make his master a breakfast. He knew that Sonja was at work, as he had peeked into their bedrooms only to find a sleeping Even sprawled across the bed. 

The sad part, though, was that Isak didn’t know what Even liked. He didn’t even know if he was allergic to something, or if he was lactose intolerant. But Isak knew, for sure, that he would disappoint if he didn’t make something his master could eat. 

He knew it was risky when he had picked out some eggs, deciding to make nothing but scrambled eggs and toast. Isak had never been very good in the kitchen and therefore didn’t know how to make lots of foods. What if Even turned out to be vegan? Oh god, he would’ve been punished for days. 

He swallowed a tiny bit, as he added some salt into the frying pan. Isak watched the eggs slowly take form, and it wasn’t until now that he realised how hungry he was. His stomach growled a little, and he couldn’t maintain his nose when he smelled the non-familiar scent of freshly made food. 

Isak swallowed as he shook his head softly. No. He was in no place to even think about it. He would’ve been fed when his masters wanted to. 

He sighed a little bit, as he searched the drawers for a plate. He quickly found one, and with using a fork, he laid the eggs on top of the plate. During his search, he discovered that Even had a toaster; which was nice, as it required less work. He found some bread and made two slices. He then put them in the toaster, as he waited patiently. 

It didn’t take long until he heard the ‘ding’ noise of the toast being ready; which, he had to admit, he slightly jumped at. Placing the toast up on the plate, he started to walk towards Even’s bedroom. 

 

He quickly found his way, and Isak was now standing in front of the door. He couldn’t help but feel quite unsure. He was scared that Even wouldn’t appreciate his breakfast, as this could be enough to send him back to the slave market. He breathed in softly, as he opened the door and walked inside. 

He was met by a sleeping Even, who was still laying in his bed. However, he had now changed positions; which meant that he was probably just sleeping in. Oh well. Isak placed the plate of food on the nightstand before he sunk onto his knees beside the bed. With bright eyes, he looked up at his master – patiently waiting for him to wake up. 

 

-

 

Half an hour passed before Even finally moved, and sat up in his bed. He rubbed his eyes softly before he almost jumped out of the bed when he saw a figure watching him. Even calmed a little bit when he discovered that it was no other than Isak, and he pressed together a little smile. 

"Isak.. Hey, " He said, as he studied the younger boy. He was sitting on his knees; and as Even wasn't completely oblivious to the situation - he quickly figured out that Isak had been sitting here for at least ten minutes. 

The younger boy just blinked dumbly and slightly confused with his eyes, in response to his greeting. Even sighed a little bit at this - but he had to admit, he found it a little bit cute, if not adorable, that the boy got confused by being greeted in a way that wasn't bad. 

He noticed the toast and the scrambled eggs, and a smile lit up on his face. "You made me breakfast?" Even almost exclaimed, as he grabbed the toast and put some of the eggs on it. 

"Yes, sir, " Isak responded firmly. Isak had been looking at Even the whole conversation, but seemed to put his head down when he started eating. 

Even tilted his head a little bit at that. "You haven't eaten yet?" 

The other man raised his gaze and looked up at Even again. He shook his head a tiny bit, "No sir, but I'll be fi -"

Even rolled his eyes, as he cut off the younger man. "Isak, just - come sit here with me, " He concluded, as he patted a little bit on the bed beside him. The duvet was on top of him, covering his lower parts as his stomach and up were the only things visible to the younger man. 

Isak got up, and sat beside Even. The boy kept his silence, but it was like there was a sparkle in his eyes. Like the constant fear that once were hiding in them, had gone away for a little bit. He wanted Isak to trust him, he really did, as he couldn't bear to have people fearing him; or think of him as cold-hearted and disgusting. 

Except for Sonja. Or, well, to a certain extent. It wasn't like Even didn't like her, he really did. How couldn't he? They had been dating for a few years now; but after Even's horrible attempt to break out of the relationship by kissing Øverlie Boukhal's oldest son, Mikael, - they both knew that the once loving relationship was slowly, but certainly, breaking apart. 

However, as both of them had been together for a long time, they really couldn't imagine their lives without each other. Which, was why, they now had bought a slave in hopes that the little gift would help keep their relationship going, and not having both of them stuck with doing a lot of chores and work.

Even handed over the remaining slice of toast to Isak, which took it hesitantly. "Eat, " Even simply commanded, in a gentle but quite nonchalant voice. He then grabbed some more eggs to put on top of Isak's toast, "And if you get hungry throughout the day, just tell me, " He added, which Isak nodded in response to.

He watched as Isak took a bite from his toast, and Even he could hear a muffled, "Okay, sir, " between his bites. 

 

They sat both in silence, eating their breakfast. It wasn’t that kind of silence that made you want to speak up, a silence you’re only willing to break; no, it was one of those comfortable silences where you didn’t have to say something. Those silences were always the best ones. 

Nevertheless, it seemed to be Even who broke the silence when he looked over at Isak and opened his mouth. "I’ve got something for you, by the way," His words seemed to be quite unsure. Even couldn’t help but recall the conversation he and Sonja had last night, and as much as he hated it; there just was something with this boy. He couldn’t put his finger quite on what it was, but there was just something about him that kept bothering Even. 

Isak tilted his head slightly at his words, which Even only responded with standing up. He turned around and went to one of his drawers, which he pulled open. He grabbed what he was looking for, as he walked back to Isak and sat down beside of him.

It was a collar. But not just any collar; it was a beautiful necklace made out of leather, in a deep navy blue colour. In the front, it had one of these standard O-rings in it. However, on the sides of the ring, some words had been imprinted. 

It read nothing else but: BECH NÆSHEIM. 

Even watched over at Isak, searching for a reaction. The younger man looked a tiny bit amused; but didn’t say anything, as Even moved on and put the collar on him.

"What do you think?" Even watched as Isak reached up to it with his hands, letting his fingertips stroking the material softly. 

" I – uh, I really like it, sir, " 

Even raised his eyebrow, as he couldn't help but smile a little bit. "Yeah?" He said. The younger boy nodded slightly in response, as Even got up. 

He walked to the closet, and picked out some clothes. Even decided on a white sweater, and a pair of blue denim jeans. He didn't have work until later at night, and he wasn't expecting any visits today; so he wasn't that picky about his outfit. It took plenty of time to look like some rich snob, and to be honest; he didn't care that much about it. 

"Well - " Even started, as he stretched his arms a bit. His gaze turned to Isak, who was still sitting on the bed - unsure what he should do with himself. "Let's go outside, " 

\- 

Only just ten minutes later, Even opened the front door and he could feel the refreshing air on his face. It was a little bit windy outside, but he didn't bother putting on a jacket. And Isak? He didn't do anything if he weren't commanded to do so, so he wasn't wearing any jacket as well. He gestured for Isak to tag along, as they both were heading towards the garden. 

Even couldn't help but glance over at Isak as they were walking side by side. The younger man looked so weakened; being incredibly thin and having a bruise on his left cheek. Even couldn't help but wonder how he got it - what he had possibly done wrong. With the scars he had seen, Isak apparently did a lot of things wrong. He hadn't really experienced the boy misbehaving himself; but, the boy had just been his slave for about one and a half day after all. 

They quickly got to the garden, and even for living here for some years, Even still found himself being mesmerised every time he saw it. The garden consisted of beautiful roses in all colours; red, white - and some cute ones that were yellow and orange. It also had many tulips, sunflowers, and violets. 

In the middle of the garden, a water fountain and a bench were placed, which only made everything in the garden appear way more cosy and romantic. Even glanced over at Isak, and there it was again - the little sparkle in his eyes; that made it look like he was almost excited. His body language didn't say anything, whatsoever, and Even couldn't help but wonder - if those sparks were only in his head. He had imagined things in his past before, so. However, he raised his head a little bit. 

"Do you have a favourite flower, Isak?" Even asked, as he tilted his head a little bit. It wasn't until he had asked the question, he realised that Isak might not know that many flowers and their names. 

To his surprise, Isak's shy eyes met his, and he nodded a tiny bit. "I-I.. like yellow flowers, sir, " The boy was speaking in a small voice, stammering over his own words; as if he were intrigued by questions that meant he had to share his own opinions. 

Even raised his eyebrows, "Yellow flowers? Yellow as in.. gorse or sunflower? " He looked out into the garden, and studied the yellow flowers; wondering what might've been his favourite. 

"Don't know, sir, " He could hear the other one almost muttering, and Even sighed a little bit. 

Nevertheless, Even clapped his hands a little bit, and turned to look over at the slave - with a broad smile on his face. "In that case - I guess we'll have to find it, yeah?" 

Isak nodded a little bit, and they both walked over to a bush of some yellow flowers. The flowers were some woadwaxens, and Even looked down at Isak. "Is it those?" 

Isak shook his head, and Even nodded a little bit. "Ah. Well, those are called woadwaxens - they usually bloom in a bright yellow colour in the summer time, but tend to be more semi-green when it's colder, " 

Even watched Isak study the bush for a bit, before they moved to another pile of yellow flowers. "Those?" 

Isak shook his head once again. 

"Hmm, okay. These are sunflowers, and as you can see, they are quite tall. They're pretty cool, though, because they have these seeds - that are often used as bird food, or to make sunflower oil, " 

Even's eyes were gazing at Isak, and he noticed an utterly tiny smile on the boy's face. He looked almost.. fascinated, even though this was nothing but common knowledge when it came to flowers. 

They walked over to another bush, and another one, without finding any luck. However, it wasn't a complete waste of time, as Even started lecturing Isak on the different flowers. 

"That's buttercups, " - "That's marsh marigolds, " - "That's coltsfoot, " 

Time passed, and Even thought about giving up about finding Isak's favourite flower. It wasn't something they had planted in their garden, and even though it was a little bit disappointing, that's how it was. 

Even turned around - ready to walk inside again, before he felt someone tugging at his sweater. He stopped, and looked down at Isak. 

He was pointing at a tiny flower; a yellow one - of course, but it didn't belong to a bush. It was a little dandelion in the middle of their garden, and Even couldn't help but smile a little bit. "That's your favourite flower?" 

Isak studied the flower softly, "Yes, sir, " 

Even couldn't help but glance at the plant, himself. "That's a dandelion. They grow literally everywhere, " 

He could see the younger man frowning a little bit at this. "It's kind of sad, though, as most people see them as weed, and are more than willing to remove them, " Even continued.

Isak blinked dumbly with his eyes, taking in all of this new information. Even opened his mouth, "You can take it, if you want. " 

The other man looked up at him as he now spoke, breaking his eye contact with the flower. "I'm serious. You can keep it in a glass of water in your room, " 

It wasn't until now, that Even had seen him smile properly. The younger boy was almost smiling broadly, as he hopped over to the flower and grabbed it. 

Even couldn't help but be fascinated by how the man could be so satisfied with something so little; so fragile, and unnecessary. "Let's go inside, and find that glass - yeah?" 

 

-

Four hours had passed, and Isak found himself standing in the corner of their living room. Sonja had invited some people over to a party; but Isak had clearly had no idea that some people - meant around 50-60 people. There were strangers all over their huge house, either drinking from these cans that had some weird drink in them. Isak wasn't sure what it was called, but he knew it was something poisonous, as his previous masters always had lost their mind when they drank too much of it. 

With so many new people being in the house, who were drinking, loud music blasting through the speakers, and within people passing out - Isak was more than unsure about the whole situation. It made him uncomfortable, if not anxious. 

He thought about the dandelion, which he had put in a glass of water, and placed it by the window in his bedroom. The thought of it calmed him a little, but the feeling for sure didn't go away. 

Sonja hadn't introduced him to anyone, as his job was now just to make sure to get people more to drink if they asked for it. However, with everyone else being quite tipsy and unconscious - Isak had picked up some names. He quickly learned that Sonja had a lot of friends, but seemed to hang out with one girl in particular. 

If he weren't completely wrong, he figured out that her name was Emma or something along those lines. Emilia? Emilie? Isak had honestly no idea. 

He didn't really know what to think of her. She seemed to be a happy person, as she had smiled all night. However, she had also been staring quite a lot at him; which only made the already uncomfortable situation even worse. He usually wouldn't be creeped out by such actions; as he had been stared at and judged for most of his life. That's just how it was when you were a slave; you were constantly watched and had a lot of expectations that proved whether you were good enough or not. 

Nevertheless, when she looked at him; Isak swore he could see something in her eyes. Something dark, as if she was hungry for something she couldn't get. 

So when she walked over to him, Isak was nothing but terrified. She smiled at him, as she tossed away her drink in the trash can beside him. "Heeey, Isaaak. " Her words were a slurry, and Isak wondered how she knew his name. He had seen her talking to Sonja a few minutes ago, which could be the explanation. 

"H-Hey, ma'am, " Isak stuttered out, as he swallowed. 

She seemed to grab his hands, and studied them quite a bit, before she returned her gaze to him. "You're mine for the rest of the night, " 

Isak frowned a little bit, and tilted his head. He felt unsure when she held her hands like this, and he couldn't help the vibration of them shaking slightly. 

She laughed at this, "Ahw - it's okay; I spoke to Sonja. " Emma stated, as a smirk appeared on her face. "..Let's go upstairs and have some fun, hm?" 

Confused, Isak blinked his eyes dumbly at her words. Fun? He had honestly no idea what she meant by that, but nodded a little bit anyway. "O-Okay, ma'am, " 

Isak did nothing but let her drag him up the stairs. 

-

 

Isak couldn't help but whine as he was pressed down onto the bed. He was laying on his back, and he had honestly no idea what to do when Emma - had started to undress him quickly. She was now sitting on top of him, and Isak felt himself growing unsure of this whole situation.

He began to feel sick, and he couldn't help but start getting freaked out; as she was running her fingers lightly through his hair. It felt good, but Isak couldn't help but try to turn his head anyway; not wanting her to touch him. 

Emma leant forward to kiss his neck, biting at the skin there, as she begun to brush her hands down and up his sides. She seemed to be a little bit quite upset that the collar was there, covering up parts of his neck. However, that didn't stop her. Isak couldn't help but toss his head to the side, as she was now peppering his face with kisses. 

"No, shh, it's okay" Emma whispered, but the words only seemed to make Isak even more uncomfortable. 

Isak writhed beneath her, and he couldn't help but feel helpless.  
_No._ He didn't like this, not at all. It all felt wrong. He wanted to get up, to get away - but he couldn't defy his mistress's words. Not again; he was already more than close to being sent away, and the last thing he wanted; was to give his masters, even more, reasons to get rid of him. 

Emma was easily overpowering him by sitting on top of him; and he couldn't help but feel more helpless as time passed. Maybe he deserved this after all; he had been, in fact, almost living in paradise since he arrived this household. That something horrible hadn't happened with him until now, was the only crime. 

Isak moaned as she sucked a hickey onto his collarbone, and he could feel tears pressing at his eyes. He squeezed them shut, ashamed by the noise that had managed to escape his mouth. 

She licked a wet stripe along his cheek; causing him to shiver.  
"Come on, Isak, you're supposed to like this, " Emma said darkly, as she ventured a hand down to stroke him through his underwear. "People like you aren't allowed to say no, right.. " 

Tears were running down his cheeks, and he shook his head a little bit; feeling sicker and sicker by every minute that passed. She started to kiss him some more along his neck, and he turned his head, but she just followed along and tugged his earlobe. 

Isak felt powerless. _Stop,_ he thought. _Please, please, stop._ He turned his head to the side again; trying to think of something else, but the tears were streaming down his face more than ever. 

In a quick movement, he pushed Emma off of him harshly and sat up on the bed. Her eyes widened, and it wasn't until now that he realised what he had done. Oh no. _No, no, no._

The girl looked at him in confusion; before her expression turned into something dark and powerful. Before he was aware of it, she raised her hand and slapped him across his face. 

Ouch. The pain felt stinging; her slap being nothing but downright hard and hurtful to his face. Isak, who hoped she would stop was proven wrong as she repeatedly started slapping him across his face. 

"You're useless! Sonja was fucking right about you all along!" She shouted; her voice screaming out of anger and betrayal. Isak whined of pain as she kept punching him; and more than minutes passed before she stopped. 

She breathed in, as she looked at him in nothing but pure disgust. "Fucking hell, you really are pathetic, " Emma commented, as she got up from the bed. She rushed out of the room, leaving Isak all alone to himself.

Leaving him alone to let him realise what he'd done. Leaving him alone to suffer. He was fucked. Isak had messed up. He always did, didn't he? 

Using his hands, he reached up to his hair and tugged at it. _"Useless, useless, useless!"_ He was nothing but scolding himself - as tears were streaming heavy down his cheeks, landing on the mattress drop by drop. 

Isak was sobbing; and he couldn't help but think of the dandelion - as his heart dropped. Who would take care of the flower once he was gone? Who would give him the same strength once he was gone? But, after all, he was the one to blame for all this.

 

Because he had messed up.

 

_Isak always did._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god i'm so sorry
> 
> feel free to follow my twitter at [here](https://twitter.com/notyourvera) for writing updates! tweets under the hashtag #pandcontrol would make me really happy, please let me know what y'all think <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for the long wait! i have just been extremely busy and kinda depressed, where even writing a single word feels exhausting.
> 
> plus, i've decided to keep a chapter from each of the boy's pov, so this is from even's. i suck at writing from even's perspective, so bear with me. 
> 
> \+ the last part was kinda made in a rush, so sorry if it's shitty af lmao.

Even sighed as he got out of the car. His day at work had been nothing but downright stressful and a complete mess. It had been quite hard to get through the long night shift; and all he wanted, was to get inside and crash down on the couch to watch some films. He knew that dream would never come to reality, however. Even was more than aware that Sonja had thrown a party, which he would usually be very pleased about, but now he couldn’t help but despise it. Parties were fun, no doubt about it – but lately, Sonja had been scolding him whenever he drank or smoked without her permission. Regardless, he knew that most of the people had left, only some of her closest friends staying, cause’ of the text he got when he had called her to tell that his shift was over. She had sounded drunk.

It was a bit windy outside, and Even dragged a hand through his hair, there he was walking up to the front door. He could hear the blasting music, and sighed a bit as he opened the door. He took off his shoes and hung up his jacket, before he walked into the living room. His eyes were quickly met by Sonja and her best friend, Emma, sitting on the sofa chatting about something. They didn't smile to each other as they spoke, not at all, instead - it looked like they were slandering about something, a topic none of them liked, but both disliking it making them closer. Even didn't doubt one bit that they were backbiting someone. 

Even walked over, his steps being quite steady, as he leaned against one of their bookshelves. "Hey, " He called out, interrupting their conversation. His action caused them both to flash him some ambidextrous smile, their two faced personality shining through in both of them. Sonja quickly stood up, and hurried towards Even. With her placing a kiss onto his cheek, he couldn't resist but smile a little bit. As much as Even hated it when girls gossiped, he had always been a sucker for kisses. "Hey darling, " Sonja greeted him, as she placed a hand on his cheek. Her smile was real now, there she was stroking his cheek softly. Even titled his head a tad bit. "What were you talking about? Seemed like a pretty heavy discussion over there, " Even pointed out, as he couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. 

Sonja's smile, which once had been there, faded a bit as she put away her hand. "I - erm, it's about our.. _servant,_ " Her words were apprehensive; like she was concerned that Even would start questioning her about why they had talked about him. Which, Even of course did. "Oh? What happened?" 

Sonja shook her head a bit, as she put on a fake smile. "I'll just explain it to you later, " She concluded, as she glanced over at Emma. It seemed sketchy, Even thought - but to be honest, he really didn't feel like start grasping for answers. After all, Even had quickly found out that she misliked their slave, and truth be told, she had plenty of reasons to do so. Even had picked out one of the weakest ones, who had more bruises on his body that Even had freckles in the summer. Yet, he couldn't help himself. When the younger boy had looked up at him; with eyes so lifeless and oh so dull, eyes that had gotten their buoyancy sucked out of them; Even couldn't help but dream that he wanted to make those eyes sparkle again. But, now that he thinks about it, it seemed ridiculous. It _was_ ridiculous. Even was a dreamer, but he had been told plenty of times that he should wake up; that life isn't a Disney movie or some fairy tale. Maybe - he should, in fact, start listening to them, but little did they know, that he is the one person that was more than aware of it all. 

Even sighed a little bit, but nodded at his girlfriend. "Yeah, okay, " He muttered, as she sent her a small smile. "I - I'm actually quite tired, so I think I'm just going to go to bed, " He added on, which Sonja nodded a bit in response to. 

"Alright, " was the last thing Even could hear from her before he disappeared up the stairs. 

-

Even yawned a bit as he got upstairs. He rubbed his eyes a little, using his hands, and was headed towards his bedroom before he heard some muffled noises in the distance. Bafflement builds up inside of him, and he found himself walking towards the sounds.  
He places his hand on the doorknob, and opens it quietly. Peering in, Even's eyes widen a bit at the sight he is being met by. 

There, on the floor was Isak sitting, with a bucket full of water. In his tiny hands, he was holding a rug, as he was desperately trying to clean the already cleaned out floor. He was scrubbing the floor quickly and harshly; as if that was his one task in life. "Come on, get clean, " Isak spoke to himself; his voice being weak and hoarse, as he sped up his motions. When it didn't seem to work, he looked down at the floor in frustration. "Please!" He downright pleaded out, and Even swore he could already hear his cry. With his small hands, he started to punch and push the floor in distress. Even decided to speak up.

"Isak, what are you doing?" Even called out, as he opened the door fully. The younger boy seemed to jump at the sudden voice, and looked up at Even with timorous eyes. His fear didn't seem to last that long, however, as he put on a small smile. "I-I'm just cleaning, sir!" He exclaimed a bit more blithe, yet there was just something in his voice that didn't seem right.

Even swallowed a bit at his words, "Isak.. You do know that the floor is already clean, right?" Their roles seemed to be reversed, as it was Even's words that came off as uneasy. 

Isak laughed a bit batty, as he shook his head. "No, no, no! " He let out, as he stood up from the floor. "The floor is never clean until you can mirror yourself in it, sir, " Isak added on, as he chuckled a bit madly. 

Even's lips parted, and he let out a sigh. Without a word, he walked a bit hesitantly up to Isak. Using his hand, he grabbed Isak's. Taking the rug away from him, he now placed his other hand on top of Isak's. "Isak, I.. I think you've done enough cleaning for tonight, " His voice was as soft as it could get, there he was now looking down at Isak - meeting his green eyes. 

It took a moment or two before Isak even reacted. When he did, his eyes turned wide, and he looked down at their hands in fright. "No, " He almost whispered, as he looked up at Even. "I-I need to clean, sir, I- I need.. " He started, his voice being shaky and surprisingly quiet, as tears were starting to form up into his eyes. 

He looked so scared, so lost, and Even couldn't help but wonder who had done this to him. _What had happened to him._ Even squeezed his hand softly, as he watched his tears running down his cheeks. "Let's just.. Get you to bed, alright?" Even started gently, which Isak seemed to nod a bit at. "You don't need to do any more today, Isak, it's already pretty late and I'm sure you did a great job cleaning up after the party. Okay?" 

Isak seemed to flinch a bit when he mentioned the party, which triggered Even's curiosity a bit. He was almost sure that something had happened at the party, but he didn't have the heart to question Isak anymore. The boy was devastated. 

Even started to walk towards the door, while still holding Isak's hand. Isak's tears had stopped, and he was afraid that'd they would come again if he let go. Plus, Isak had that look in his eyes; that begged to be held, like this was the only thing that kept him sane at the moment. Regardless, the boy would've probably never admitted it himself. 

They quickly got to his bedroom, and Even almost sat Isak down onto his bed. Even pulled away from holding his hands, and his green eyes almost immediately looked down at his own hands. He looked wounded, like he had been wronged, and Even couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "It'll be okay, Isak. " He spoke in a low voice; his voice being a tad soft, but still containing that bleakness. 

Isak nodded a bit in response, as he bit his lower lip. Without saying a word, he crawled onto his bed and under the duvet. He laid onto his side, his face facing away from Even. With the boy still having his clothing on, Even raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to sleep with your clothes on? " 

It had taken some moments before the younger boy responded, as if he was thinking about something. Pondering, even. "Y-Yes, sir, I'd like it that way, " He answered in a frail voice. Even swallowed a bit, before he nodded to himself. "Okay, " Even said, before he walked towards the door. Turning off his light, he glanced at the younger boy just.. laying there. "Good night, " He said, with a little sigh. He knew he should just walk to his bathroom and go to sleep as well, but he couldn't help himself there he was studying his slave. A thought ran through his head, and Even knew that Sonja would be mad at him. Not just mad, but bitter. Angry, even. 

But at that moment, he didn't seem to care - as he parted his lips. "And.. uh, we're not going to get rid of you, Isak. I promise, " was the last thing Even said, before he closed the door and headed towards his own bedroom. 

-

Later that night, Even couldn't sleep. He had gone to sleep several hours before Sonja, even with talking to Isak, yet - he was still awake when his fiance walked into their bedroom, and got in bed with him. 

She glanced over at him, and Even met her eyes in the darkness. "Are you still awake?" She whispered, and Even couldn't help himself but break their eyeing. A sigh escaped his lips, "Yeah. Can't sleep, " He muttered. 

"Are you taking your meds?" She asked, her voice being concerned. Even couldn't help but let out a deep sigh. He knew that Sonja cares about him, he really did, but sometimes it felt like she thought that everything was to blame on his illness. He isn't feeling well? Probably hasn't taken his meds. He is extremely happy and passionate about something? Probably an episode. He doesn't love her anymore? That's not him talking. 

"Yes, Sonja.. It's just - I talked to Isak earlier, " Even admitted, as he looked over at her, waiting for a reaction. 

She narrowed her eyes a bit, "Oh? What did he have to say?

It took Even a few seconds, if not minutes to answer, thinking about how Isak had acted. "..I just want to know what happened at the party, " He responded, as he raised his brows a bit. 

Sonja sighed a bit, as she nodded. "Alright. Everyone besides me was.. pretty drunk, as I had only had a beer or two, and I think Emma had a little too much. She's been sad for a couple of weeks over that Josef guy, you know, and she had mentioned Isak a few times throughout the whole night. I, of course, told her that it was our slave, and she asked me if she could go upstairs with him - which I said yes to. "

Even nodded a bit at her words.

"I don't know that much besides that she went with him upstairs, and that he had been pretty.. aggressive. He refused her orders, when I had commanded him to follow hers - I, Even, he even pushed her. Hard, " Sonja finished, as she closed her eyes a bit at her own words.

"That's what Emma told you?" Even asked, softly.

Her eyes opened, a bit alarmed, before she nodded slightly. "Yeah, and I do believe her. " Sonja said, as she placed a hand on his cheek, starting to stroke it softly. "But.. This just shows us what I've been telling you, right? " - "You know, that he is disobedient, after all.. We can't keep a slave like that in our home, right?" 

Even parted his lips at her words, before he slowly pushed away her hand. He bit his lip softly, as he looked up at her. "Sonja.. I hate to tell you this, but I kind of want to keep him, " Even almost whispered quietly, his voice being a bit unsure; as he had already expected Sonja to disagree with him.

She did.

"Even, are you out of your mind?" Sonja exclaimed, her voice being a little bit louder, but not as high as the last time they had been arguing. They did it quite often these days, but they'd both always forget about it afterward. 

Even sighed, for what seemed to be the third time tonight, at his girlfriend. "No.. I's just, I feel like he could've been good to us. Just that he hasn't gotten the chance to do so yet, do you understand?" He glanced over at her; with a hopeful little sparkle in his eyes.

Sonja sent him a small smile, "Even.. I know how patient you are with other people, and warm-hearted too - but you have to understand that we just can't have someone like him walking around here, " She answered, being true to her words. She sounded concerned, almost like she felt pity for him even saying such words. For even thinking like that.

It made him a little bit irritated, but not too much. "Yes, we can. " Even stated. To his response, Sonja only seemed to roll his eyes at him. 

"He has done more damage to our household than good, " He could hear her mumble, and Even opened his mouth. 

"Sonja, you can blame him for everything that he's done staying here. But you can't blame him for what he's been through or seen before getting here that has shaped him into the person he is today, " Even said, quite bitterly, as his girlfriend just couldn't see his point no matter how hard he tried. 

 

However, to his lucky surprise, she didn't say more for the rest of the night.

 

\- 

 

The next day when he woke up, he was feeling a bit sick. Not from some flue, but because he hadn't managed to sleep very well last night. In fact, it was merely possible that he only got about four hours of sleep, which was challenging to his usual nine hours. He knew that it wouldn't help to stay in bed and try to fall asleep any longer, so he decided just to wake up and face the day. He didn't have work until later today, just like yesterday, so he could at least treat himself with some great breakfast.

Speaking of breakfast - Even found himself quite startled when he didn't see Isak kneeling on his floor, or to see that he hadn't placed some food on his nightstand. It wasn't something he had gotten used to; but because of his acts yesterday, Even was sure that was something that came naturally to him. He guessed it wasn't. 

Even got out of bed, and put on some clothes. He put on some lazy clothes, as he would at least be walking around in comfortable sweatpants with only getting a little amount of sleep. Even could at least try to make the best out of the situation. Glancing at the bed, Sonja was still sleeping, and he decided not to wake her up. She could definitely need some rest after the party last night. 

Heading out the door and towards the bathroom, he closed the door behind him quietly. He grabbed his toothbrush, and brushed his teeth - as he glanced in the mirror. His hair seemed to be a bit wavier today, being even more fluffy than usual. There was a strand of hair that fell onto his forehead, and had decided to stay there for the rest of the day - no matter how hard he tried to place it where it belonged. Whatever. It wasn't like he was going out or something.

He headed out of his bedroom and walked through his hallway. A little bit concerned about where the younger slave had headed out too, he stopped in front of Isak's bedroom. Even raised his hand to knock on the door; before he realised that he doesn't need to knock. He was his slave, after all. He grabbed the doorknob, and opened the door.

Even was nothing but met by an Isak that was sitting by his window, tapping a bit on the glass he had placed there. His hair was messy, and he was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. It was the glass he had placed the dandelion in, and he looked fascinated there he sat. Even couldn't help but knock a bit at the opening door, to gain some attention. The boy turned his head around and looked at him, his eyes growing wide.

"Hey. " Even greeted, a bit awkwardly; not quite sure of what to do with this whole servant situation. He had never had a proper slave before, it all being Sonja's great idea, but he certainly knew that nothing bad would come from it. Or so he thought. "I couldn't help but notice you didn't make breakfast, nor waited to get some orders, " He continued, as he raised an eyebrow at him. 

Isak quickly got up from his knees, and walked up to him. Standing in front of him, Isak placed his hands behind his back, as he lowered his head. He looked a bit terrified; like a teenager caught rebelling. His lips parted, but no words came out. It looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn't dare, wouldn't let his words do anymore harm than he had already done.

Even didn't think that way. Putting on a little smile, he opened his mouth."You're not going to say anything?" 

Isak just looked up at him with his green eyes, like his eyes told him that he couldn't bring himself to do it. 

"Fine. Let's get down to the kitchen, and we'll make something for Sonja together. " He stated, as he grabbed Isak's arm. It wasn't a harsh grip, more like a firm one, where he dragged Isak calmly down the hallway. 

About ten minutes later, Even found himself standing in front of their fridge. Tilting his head, he looked at all the foods in it. "Hm.. What do you think, would she like scrambled eggs & sausages or french toasts more?" He knew that Isak wouldn't respond him, of course he wouldn't - it was almost in slave nature to not say their meanings and thoughts. But, after all, it was more like a question to himself rather than Isak. 

As expected, Isak didn't say a word, and Even took out the pack of sausages. He handed them over to Isak, and pointed at one of their drawers, "The knives are in there. Just take the small one, but it's sharp, so make sure to be careful."

The boy was quiet, and Even couldn't help but wonder what was going on with him. This was more than unrespectful, with first of all not even responding to Even's orders correctly, and secondly, not addressing his master the way he deserved to be treated. How he should be treated. Taking out the eggs, he placed them on the counter and looked over at the younger boy.

"Put down the knife. " Even ordered, and Isak put it down and placed it behind the sausages he had started to slice up. Grabbing his arm, for the second time today, he pulled Isak a bit closer to him.

It seemed to piss Even off a little bit, not being paid attention to with words, which was evident in the hard gaze he was giving Isak; there he now looked down at him. "Isak, you need to address me correctly. You need to use your words, " He commanded, only to gain a little nod from the younger boy, who had his eyes planted on his ground.

Sighing, and with using one of his fingers, he lifted Isak's chin up, forcing him to look at him. "Is the-" Even started; only to be distracted by the tears that were starting to form into the younger boy's eyes. His eyes widened a bit, as he pulled away his finger. "Isak.. Don't tell me you're like this because of whatever happened at the party last night, " Even said, his once harsh voice turning into a gentle and concerned one. Because, if he had to be honest, he was. 

The tears were starting to run down his cheeks, leaving tiny teardrops landing on their carpet. "I-I'm sorry, sir, so sorry, f-feel terrible, " The younger boy almost whimpered, muffled between his upcoming sobs. Using his tiny hands, he tried to wipe them away, only to let new ones be made. 

Even could feel guilt down his throat, for being so harsh on him a few moments ago, and couldn't help himself but pull him into a hug. His long arms were wrapped around the younger man, who was now sobbing heavily against his chest. "Don't be, " Even almost whispered.  
He couldn't help but feel a bit sad for the boy, but at the same time, he was relieved - to see that such a damaged boy from a fucked up community still had feelings. _Feelings that weren't caused by some knife tearing up your skin; feelings that came from inside of him. Feelings to get hurt._ He hushed a bit at the younger boy.

 

It was a generous act of Even, really, but little did he know - peering into the kitchen, could Sonja be seen narrowing her eyes. She didn't like the sight one bit. In fact, she couldn't help but let the thought of getting rid of Isak increase. Heavily. She had decided that the boy wouldn't stay for longer than a week, and if anyone could make sure of it; _Sonja was perfect for the job._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to follow my twitter at [here](https://twitter.com/notyourvera) for writing updates! tweets under the hashtag #pandcontrol would make me really happy, please let me know what y'all think <3


	4. Chapter 4

Today, Isak felt great. Really. Today he was feeling.. very, _very_ great. He even felt.. marvellous, if he could say so himself. He had woken up quite early, and when he did – he didn’t feel the wave of tiredness and fatigue wash over him as he stood up and placed his feet onto the cold, dull, floor as it had done most parts of his life. This had been one of the best mornings of his life, he had decided, and Isak didn’t know what, who or whom had caused him to feel so excellent this exact day. He thought that maybe it could’ve been because he had gotten to eat more food these past days. 

Isak didn’t know why eating larger or smaller portions of food affected his mood so easily, it was simply something he had learned and gotten used to whilst moving from master to master, where all of them seemed to give him different amounts of nutrition’s throughout the day. In his mind, it didn’t really make any sense. However, in reality, it was due to his lack of simply common knowledge; but.. he didn’t care. Because today, was a great day. 

When he had placed his feet onto the already mentioned cold floor and briefly looked at himself in the mirror, he hadn’t felt the urge to immediately look away. He didn’t feel quite that unsure feeling he always got in his stomach whenever he looked at himself, he hadn’t looked at himself in.. _disgust_ today. 

In fact, he had rather studied himself in the mirror for quite some time. Isak had noticed that his blonde, curly locks had started to look a bit shinier for instance, and that he had started to get some small dots next to his nose and onto his cheeks. They were very faint, and some of them looked more orange than others. Isak didn’t know what it was, and saved the question into his head for Even later.

Even was at work all day today, and Isak had decided that he would do some excellent work done today, so he would be happy with him. He didn’t know quite why, but the thought of having Even being happy with his work made him feel a bit glad. Maybe a bit happy too, it almost felt like butterflies throughout his whole stomach. 

His morning had been great. However, the only thing stopping it from being downright perfect, was that little glass of water with the dandelion in it. The dandelion had started to look more grey, and it seemed like it had shrunk in size. The head of the flower that was once yellow like sunshine, had started to crumble and tip forward. The flower wasn’t standing straight anymore, and Isak wondered if the head of the flower was carrying something heavy. 

The flower seemed.. strange to him now, and it didn’t appear as beautiful to him as it did that day in the garden. _Whatever,_ he had thought. _I’ll ask Even about that too when he gets home. It’s probably just sleeping._

Isak knew how less appealing you looked when you haven’t slept in some days, so he figured out that he would have to make a bed for the flower soon.  
With Even being gone for so long, it was just him and Sonja in the house. It was a bit of a relief, since now Isak could stop worrying about taking orders from two masters at a time. When he thought about it, he had mostly just taken orders from Even, and hadn’t really pleased his mistress in any way. That made him a bit anxious as well, so when Sonja had asked him to make him breakfast, he was more than ready to oblige. 

“Isak, _for god’s sake,_ hurry it up! I’m starving, “ He could hear Sonja yelling from the dining room, and the words that escaped her mouth made him feel a bit stressed. She sounded a bit irritated, which she probably was, which didn’t help that much on Isak’s stress. Not that it mattered, because most things did stress him, actually.

“Yes, ma’am!” Isak almost immediately responded, before pouring the fried eggs from the frying pan onto the plate. He had toasted two slices of bread for her, and was now waiting impatiently by the toaster for when they would be ready. His eyes were watching the toaster rather heavily, like they were begging the machine to be done. To just pop out those two slices of bread and make his whole life easier. 

Around half a minute passed before the toaster made that exact sound, and Isak breathed out in relief. The half a minute had felt like two years, and he grabbed the two slices of bread; and placed them onto the plate next to the eggs. Isak then grabbed one fork and one knife from their correct drawer, grabbed the plate with his tiny hands, and walked out of the kitchen. 

Sonja was sitting at the end of their gigantic table whilst tapping her fingers impatient against the table top. Isak quickly hurried towards her, and placed the plate in front of her. Unsure of where to go or what to do, he simply just stood beside her; waiting for her to say something, to order him to do something else. He never got any new orders, though. What he got – was Sonja’s eyes looking up at him in a displeasing matter. Isak swallowed a bit. 

She then examined the bread, grabbing one slice into her hands. Her eyes studied the pastry, watching it heavily, until she suddenly dropped it back onto the plate. “Tell me, Isak, how good were your cooking skills when you arrived at this mansion?” Her cold, monotone voice almost gave him goose bumps. 

“They were very bad, ma’am. “ Isak answered softly, a little bit unsure of where this conversation seemed to be going. 

“Exactly. “ Sonja said, as she grabbed one of the slices. She held it up to him whilst pointing at a dark brown, almost black spot on the toast. 

Guilt filled Isak’s eyes once he realized the mistake he had done. He had burnt one of the toasts. How could he do such a thing? All the nice thoughts that he had seemed to vanish, disappearing into the air as if they never even existed. And deep down in his heart, he couldn’t help but think that maybe that was the truth. 

“You haven’t improved one bit, “ Sonja stated as she sighed. Her voice was bittersweet; the kind where you just could hear, feel and know something unexpected was coming your way. 

“I’m sorry, ma’am.. “ Isak hurried to get his words out of his mouth; his voice sounding a bit more poorly than usual – in fact, he sounded a bit more defeated than what he normally did. However, Isak never got the chance to try to make up for it by apologising, as Sonja quickly hushed him off. 

“Shut up, “ Sonja said loudly, as he handed him the plate rougly; making it hard for Isak to actually grab onto the plate; as if she didn’t even want him to have it. It was like she wanted him to lose his grip onto it, to let it shatter into the ground. However, with it being expensive, Isak could never assume that was what she wanted. Oh dear, nobody would wish for such a thing, would they? 

“You are not allowed to speak when I haven’t told you to so, “ She continued in that same, intimidating voice. “You see, Isak.. _Even is a good guy._ Of course he is. He has a big heart, and I, as many others, love him for it. It’s a great quality, after all. However, some people – “ She pointed at Isak, “seems to take advantage of it. Those people, may cry or show sadness instead of doing what they actually were supposed to do, in order to make him feel bad for them. Sounds relatable to you, doesn’t it?” She looked up at him, and raised her eyebrows slighty. 

Isak swallowed, as he couldn’t do anything but look at her with unsure eyes. He wanted to reply, he really did, but she had in fact just told him to not speak whenever he wanted; so he had figured out it was best to keep his silence. 

“You see, Isak.. The thing is, Even just can’t stand seeing people sad. It makes him feel bad as well, even when he doesn’t care about the person at all. He might hate them, even. That’s you in this situation, get it?” 

Isak nodded a bit. 

“Good. You need to stop being such a god damn cry-baby, and grow up. Alright?” 

Isak nodded again, and started to let her words conquer his mind. Everything she had said to him, was, in fact, true. He had been quite uncontrollable and emotionally unstable whilst being here, and he couldn’t help but feel.. _sorry_ about it. In fact, he should’ve controlled his feelings. He should’ve done what he was supposed to do. He doesn’t get a say in what to do, how to speak, and how to function. That was none of his business – at all. He needed to stop being such a brat. He just needed to; cause the truth was, that nobody cared about him at all. Isak didn’t care about himself. Even didn’t care about him. 

_“Say it, “_

“I’ll stop being such a cry-baby and start to grow up, ma’am, “ 

“Good. Now get out and make me a new toast, before I finally kick you out of this place. “ 

Isak returned to the kitchen. 

\--- 

When Even came home several hours later, Isak was in his room. He was sitting by the window, where he had placed his glass with the now not-so-pretty dandelion. His fingers were slightly tapping on the glass, as he studied it closely. 

It was dark outside, and Isak couldn’t help but feel heavy and fatigue. It was a familiar feeling; the little ball of unsureness forever stuck in his throat – but now, it felt worse. Isak hadn’t really thought about how sick this feeling was, how tired of it he was, how tired of it all he was, until he finally felt better for a short while. But things like that go away. No one manages to stay happy all the time. Especially not Isak. There was a knock on the door, before it opened several moments later. Isak turned around, only to see Even standing in the doorway. 

“Hey, Isak, “ He greeted him with the tiniest smile, but Isak couldn’t give him the pleasure of greeting him back. Instead – he just looked at him with tired eyes, before he returned back to examine the dandelion. It went quiet for a while, until Isak spoke up. 

“Why is it turning like that?” Isak asked quietly, before muttering a little “sir” at the end of it. Even titled his head; obviously confused with what the hell he was talking about, before walking up to him. When he saw the dandelion, he shrugged a bit. 

“It’s because it’s dying, Isak, “ 

Isak didn’t know why, but those words of truth made his heart ache. It was like something sweet had just shot his heart, but instead of it being an arrow on Valentine’s day, it was a gun on doomsday. He didn’t know why those words hit him so hard, but they did. 

Because deep down in his dark little heart; _Isak thought he was dying too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dandelion = isak  
> conspiracy theory confirmed?
> 
> //and now that i look at the word count this chapter is so short omfg I'm sorry, i'm tired and want to sleep k
> 
> feel free to follow my twitter at [here](https://twitter.com/notyourvera) for writing updates! tweets under the hashtag #pandcontrol would make me really happy, please let me know what y'all think <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *says is going to update this at fridays*
> 
> *posts at monday*

Being a business man was nothing but downright tough. Taking care of an industry meant a lot of work, and being involved in the business strategy, especially the marketing and pricing of the products and services; sure left Even Bech Næsheim quite a lot of paperwork and phone calls during his way too many and way too long shifts. 

It was stressful, and even though Even _knew_ he shouldn’t complain about such a high educated job many could only ever dream of; it tore him simply apart. Now, he didn’t exactly hate his job; he just disliked it to that degree where one could mistake it for hatred, even though it wasn’t. It was a great job, it just _wasn’t_ for him. I mean, after all, the only reason he had such a high-class job was because of his father who was determined to make sure his only son could proudly maintain their family name when he disappeared someday. 

He had decided that when Even finally got home; all he was going to do was relax and take it easy. He was actually looking forward to getting home to read some books and see his fiancé. He was looking forward to seeing their familiar garden, and some freshly cooked food. The feeling of getting home to a safe, peaceful and calming environment made him get butterflies of joy throughout his stomach. Even was looking forward to it; he was even looking forward to checking up on Isak. He would never say it out loud, but that was for sure one of the things he was looking most forward to. 

So, when Even finally went up to his room to check upon him, he did not expect to see Isak sitting on the floor by his window, tapping and studying his glass with the dandelion in it. It made him kind of confused, and the reaction he had gotten out of Isak when he had told him that the dandelion seemed to be dying, made Even feel a bit... _empty_. 

It wasn’t that kind of empty he would feel after an episode; this empty made him feel like he was losing something that he had been trying to achieve for quite a while. And maybe it was something, but he couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it could be. 

Now, sitting beside of the little one, Even glanced over at Isak – who still had his eyes fixated onto the glass. It almost looked like Isak was afraid that the dandelion would suddenly vanish right before his eyes, Even had thought. 

It was silent between them, and this time, compared to some others – Even didn’t feel at ease as he had done before; this silence was.. a haunting and tempting one, and he didn’t really know what he was supposed to do whilst being in such circumstances.. which was kind of strange, because Even always knew what to do. But this boy, had made him feel more conflicted in a few days than he had done in years. 

“You know, Isak.. we could always go outside and find you a new one. “ Even was the first one to break their awful silence, yet, Isak wouldn’t let his eyes glance over at him. Even couldn’t help but swallow, as he carefully placed his hand onto the younger one’s shoulder. To his surprise, the other one didn’t seem to flinch, but turned his head to look at him instead with some dull eyes. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that it would die, sir?” Isak asked quietly. Even couldn’t help but notice that his voice was slowly breaking; like he was on the urge to crying. 

Even sighed a bit, before he smiled a bit sadly at him. “Unfortunately, all flowers die sometime, Isak. You were just a little bit unlucky with this one; the poor dandelion didn’t have that many days left, it seems..“ Even started to explain carefully, but with also having a soft and somehow warm voice. He didn’t mention that the reason why it died was because they had picked it up, but he guessed he wasn’t lying either. He just had a feeling that if Isak knew that he was the reason why the little weed was dying; he’d just feel ten times worse. 

Isak only nodded a bit at his words, but his face seemed to brighten up a little bit. Not much, of course not, but a tiny-itsy bit. Even couldn’t help but compare him to a little child who felt joy in learning new things, that seemed simple and rather useless to adults. To him, it seemed like Isak enjoyed learning things. _He would’ve been a great student,_ Even thought. _Too bad he was raised as a slave._  
Even then got up, and spoke up again. “Well, I guess there is just one thing we can do about this situation, “ He said whilst smiling; his tone being a bit too happy due to the fact that this beloved dandelion was ready to get buried in its grave. 

When Isak blinked at him with confused eyes there he was looking up at him, Even couldn’t help but smile a bit more and let out some chuckles. He really was way too innocent. Even then tilted his head slightly; “Go out and find a new one, of course!” He exclaimed, “We can’t sit here and mourn all night, can we?” He continued, before he reached a hand out to Isak. 

Isak, who of course took it, got up to his feet. It wasn’t really like he had a choice to hold onto his hand or not, but Even like to think that he did. Even then followed him out of his room, down the stairs, and through the living room. Sonja was currently in the kitchen, and even though it was quicker to walk through the kitchen, Even decided to take the circumlocutory instead. He was almost certain that Sonja wouldn’t approve of Even waltzing out into the night even though it was for.. a rather good sake. Even loved her; he really did or, so he thought – but he knew that she wouldn’t understand no matter how he tried to explain it to her. 

They finally got into the hallway, and Even put on his shoes and jacket. When Isak was just standing there, Even raised an eyebrow towards him. “I’m not letting you go out there to freeze to death, put on your shoes and jacket, “ He simply said, but couldn’t help but smile slightly at him. He sure was something, that little man of his. 

When Isak struggled zipping up his jacket, Even could see the fear starting to crawl up onto him; like he was actually thinking that Even would punish him for something silly as not being able to put on his jacket. It was a bit heart-breaking, he thought. 

“Come here, I’ll help you, “ Even muttered, and Isak let go of the zipper. Even took a hold of it, and zipped his jacket up. “Here you go, “ Even glanced up at Isak; who, if he weren’t completely out of his mind, seemed to smile the tiniest bit. And for some reason, that made Even’s day the tiniest bit better.  
He then grabbed his hand, and led Isak outside to wherever the hell he had planned for them to go. 

\--- 

Just half an hour later, the boys could be seen walking towards a park that Even had specifically chosen out. It was a beautiful park full of gorgeous blossoms and flowers, and he couldn’t help but feel like Isak just.. _needed_ to see this. Like this park had some impact on his life; even thought it most likely didn’t do so. Or maybe it did, how could he know? 

“You know, this is my favourite place to go whenever I feel a bit.. gone, I guess, “ Even told the younger boy, as he looked up a bit at the dark sky; as if he was looking at something beyond it all. Bright, shiny stars had started to appear - and Even couldn’t help but smile a bit. It was raining, and he could feel the rain drops hit his face. It didn’t make him feel squrmish and uncomfortable; but it was rather.. refreshing. He could help but think that the stars really were beautiful, and he thought it was a shame that so many people acted completely oblivious towards them - most people had just got used to such a beautiful thing and original thing; which saddened him quite a bit. He guessed that went for people as well, and he couldn’t help but let a certain person come to his mind. 

Isak didn’t seem to respond to his words, which - Even then again, understood and had almost _gotten used to_. Even had figured that if he was patient, he’d open up. Let himself shine a little bit. But, then again - he knew that his mind played tricks on him for even thinking such a thing. It wasn’t in Isak’s nature or instincts, if anything, and he was certainly not supposed to do so. It was almost as it wasn’t permitted, like some unwritten rules that he and the other boy just had to follow. 

The two of them entered the park’s path, and it was all as Even had remembered it. It was almost a garden, with a handful of huge and pudgy trees surrounded and through it. There were many bushes, mainly consisting of flowers, and even though they looked as if they were in need of some care and love - they still looked downright gorgeous. In the middle of the park, there was a fountain, with a bench right beside of it. A single streetlight was also located here; and the whole park itself, looked like a cosy little forest with a path that led them through it. 

They were about to pass a bush full of roses, and Even stopped. Isak, who did the same, had his eyes placed on his master. He looked a bit unsure - like he didn’t know what was going on, or what to do. Like he didn’t know how to function without someone telling him full detailed plans of what he was going to do, and where he was going to do so. 

“Do you like roses, Isak?” Even then asked, and glanced over at the younger boy. 

“I.. I’m not sure, sir, “ Isak replied. 

“Try to. “ Even stated, as he was now examing the roses instead. “If they give you the same feeling you get when choosing the dandelion over a sunflower, then it means you like it. More, too. You like one thing over the other, and there is nothing wrong with that, you know. “ 

Isak seemed to tilt his head a bit, as he was now studying the bush as well. “I guess I like them, sir, “ He concluded after a while; and the unease that was in his voice had seemed to fade away.

“Not as much as the dandelions, though, “ Even commented right after he had finished his sentence, and was returned with Isak dumbly blinking his eyes a few times, before he opened his mouth. “No, not as much as the dandelions, sir, “ 

Even smiled quite a bit at him. “I figured, “ He said, as he started to walk forward, heading further into the park. “You get this special glimpse in your eyes whenever you look at something you like, “ He added. It was something remarkable he had noticed about Isak whilst looking at the dandelion placed in that little glass. He had looked at it with such a love, like it was the only thing that had mattered for him in the moment. 

 

“And please.. _Call me Even,_ “ He added on. 

\----

After looking at all different flowers and bushes, they had went to the center of the park; where the fountain was placed. They had sat down on the bench, despite it being wet because of the rainy weather. “It’s such a shame it’s raining cats and dogs, “ Even said, as he looked up at the sky once more. 

Isak seemed to glance up towards the sky as well by this, and he titled his head softly. “I... don’t see any cats or dogs, Even, “

When this was being said; Even couldn’t help himself but burst out in laughter. The fact that Isak _didn’t understand_ what he had meant, was not just funny, but a little bit cute as well. 

Even let out a few chuckles before answering, “It doesn’t mean that it is literally raining cats and dogs. That’s not possible, you know. It just means that it’s raining very much; like it’s pouring. It’s just something people say, “ 

“Oh, “ Isak answered a bit dumbly, as he glanced back at Even again. His cheeks and nose had a rosy colour in them; indicating that he was cold, and Even was sure he had the same. The thing, though, was that Isak didn’t look pale like he was freezing - he looked so pure, and his green-grey eyes seemed brighter than usual because of the streetlight. 

“You really are a bit oblivious, aren’t you?” Even commented. He didn’t mean it in a bad way; not at all, there he was smiling towards him. 

 

And whilst seeing Isak like this; Even simply couldn’t help himself. So, when he leant closer to the young little boy, and placed his hand on his cheek - it didn’t occur to him what really happened when their lips touched for the first time, and he could feel Isak’s mouth against his.

It made Even feel all warm inside; a feeling he hadn’t felt in ages. It was a feeling that had been locked away for so long, it made him surprised how good it felt to have it there again. 

Even was however the first one to break their beloved kiss, and he couldn’t help but smile even _more_ when he realised what he had done. His eyes was fixated on the younger boy, and he titled his head a bit. “Tell me, Isak, when did you get such lovely freckles?” 

 

And in that moment, Even swore he could see a special kind of glimpse in the younger boy’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shoot
> 
> finally a moment.. about time, huh?
> 
> feel free to follow my twitter at [here](https://twitter.com/notyourvera) for writing updates! tweets under the hashtag #pandcontrol would make me really happy, please let me know what y'all think <3


	6. Chapter 6

When Even pressed his lips against his, Isak froze. He’d seen others kiss before, but he’d never actually kissed someone himself. Of course, he hadn’t – he’d never even received a kiss up until this very moment, but if he knew that it would give him such a joyful feeling, he’d dream about it every night. He’d replace all his self-deprecating thoughts that he was unaware of he even made, and replace them using his imagination, fantasizing someone just smooching him softly. When the wonderful feeling he’d never felt before grew inside of him – redness rose up in his cheeks, and he couldn’t help but freeze for a moment when Even pulled back. A part of him didn’t want him to pull back, to just rest his lips against his for a little bit longer. 

But, another part of Isak had wanted to kiss him back as well. The thing was, he just didn’t know how to do so, nor was it right in any way. He wasn’t supposed to make such thoughts of what he wanted or not, Isak Valtersen was just supposed to go with it – that’s how thing was, and that’s how things were going to be. He’d learned that by now. The last time he had wanted something and asked for it, he’d gotten beaten up so badly he couldn’t walk properly for six days straight. Even though it’s many years ago, Isak could still recall the memory.

_It had been almost one and a half week since Isak last had eaten. Despite being unable to see himself in the mirror, he knew that his tiny and fragile body had gotten even skinnier. Isak didn’t mind that, his master liked him so. But due to almost fainting yesterday, he’d decided to beg his master kindly for a little piece of bread. He’d noticed that his master had been in quite a good mood. He hadn’t yelled that much at him, and Isak had figured that he simply forgot to feed him. It would probably be fine, Isak thought. Yet, he couldn’t help but shiver when he turned the doorknob to his master’s ‘office.’_

_His master glanced up at him as he took a few steps into the room quietly, and Isak closed the door carefully after entering._  


“Isak, why are you not asleep?” His master had asked him, as he shrugged. It was late at night, and Isak was wearing his oversized t-shirt as well as his boxers.  


He usually didn’t sleep in his shirts, but he couldn’t stand seeing his ribs poking out of his skin anymore. The sight of them and his defined hips had reminded him of his hunger, and when he on top of that couldn’t sleep, he stood no chance. 

_“I-I’m sorry to interrupt you, Master, “ Isak started, stuttering over his words. He was downright terrified when his next words came out of his mouth, “I.. I w-was just wondering if I could h-have some food, “_

_His master raised an eyebrow as he looked at him, before he sighed – clearly annoyed by the question._

_“..You’re telling me you came into my office, when you know that I’m working and would hate to have you interrupt me to ask me to get you some fucking food?”_

_Isak bit his lip._

_“Y-Yes, sir, “_

_His master rose from the black chair he had been sitting in._

_“And you think that’s acceptable of you?”_

_Isak froze when he saw his master walking up towards him, and he opened his mouth to answer, only to have no words come out. He wanted to answer him oh-so desperately, but he just couldn’t. Couldn’t, couldn’t, couldn’t._

_Silence._

_When Isak didn’t answer him, Isak could see the familiar glimpse in his eyes as he downright snapped._

_“Don’t you fucking dare to disturb me like that, you filthy piece of shit!” He yelled enraged, as he clenched his fist and hit Isak in his left cheek, with a massive amount of strength that it almost had caused him to fall down onto the floor._

_He started to repeatedly hit him and kick him in different parts of his body mercilessly, and Isak couldn’t help but let out agonizing screams, as tears streamed out of his eyes caused by the unbearable pain. Any sane person would’ve stopped after a couple of punches, but he didn’t. How could he, when such a terrible slave as Isak had just interrupted him like so?_

_He just kept going, over and over again until Isak could barely breath. In fact, Isak couldn’t even hear him due to the pain, so when he forced him down onto his knees – Isak was downright sobbing, crying loudly._

_“I said, what do you say now Isak?”_

_Isak looked up at him with puffy and teary eyes. He could only keep one of his eyes open at this point, as he’d hit the other one. He was covered in red marks which would certainly transform into deep, lilac bruises the following day._

_“I-I’m sorry, sir, “ The younger boy got out between his sobs._

_The other man rolled his eyes – clearly only showing antipathy towards his not so beloved slave._

_“You’re a fucking failure, Isak. I’d like to say you’re a good boy for apologizing, but you’re not. I don’t give a damn about the fact that you’re hungry, in fact, you can sit here and rot for the rest of the night for all I care. “_

_And when his master left the room, that’s exactly what Isak did for the rest of the night._

It wasn’t something Isak was too proud of, in fact – he hated himself for that moment, and he felt the shame wash over him. This was wrong, oh so horribly wrong, and he looked at Even in worry. He wasn’t ashamed that he felt rather... glad, if he could say so himself, when Even kissed him. He had gotten butterflies in his stomach, but now they were slowly flying away, one by one. He wasn’t ashamed on Even’s behalf, either. 

He was ashamed because he remembered what Sonja had told him a few days ago. 

_You see, Isak.. Even is a good guy. Of course he is. He has a big heart, and I, as many others, love him for it. It’s a great quality, after all. However, some people – seems to take advantage of it._

Was Isak taking advantage of it? 

_The thing is, Even just can’t stand seeing people sad. It makes him feel bad as well, even when he doesn’t care about the person at all. He might hate them, even._

Had Isak made Even feel bad, made him feel like he had to do this to cheer him up? Like he knew how good it would make him feel – but then, how come he actually knew how good it would make him feel?

_That’s you in this situation, get it?_

_Yes,_ Isak thought to himself. 

_Say it, say it, say it, say it –_ “Isak? “ - “Are you alright?” 

It wasn’t until this very moment that Isak snapped out of his thoughts and came back to reality. Even had placed his hand onto his cheek, stroking it softly with the use of his thumb. Isak didn’t understand why he’d done that, but he figured it was to calm him down. He was smiling, a warm and empathic smile; and that helped him calm down a little bit as well. 

“Isak.. “ He began, as he removed the hand that had rested on his cheek. For some reason, Isak wished his hand could hold his cheek for a little longer. Even shrugged a bit, as his smile faded. “I’m terribly sorry if that freaked you out, “ 

Isak shook his head a tad, as he opened his mouth. “.. It didn’t freak me out, Even, “ He answered. 

Even looked at him in confusion. 

“No?” 

“No. “ 

Even’s smile seemed to return, and Isak couldn’t help but think that Even looked good when he truly smiled. In fact, he really did. He’d seen Even smile before, but this smile of his wasn’t one of those smiles he’d give Sonja, this smile of his was almost more.. brighter and enlightened, if anything.

“Isak, I.. want you to know that I’m not one of your usual masters, “ The taller boy began before he continued. “I’ve come to conclusion that I want to get to know you. “ Even looked at him to search for any reaction, and Isak return his gaze looking rather puzzled. 

“G-Get to know me, sir?” 

Even grinned a bit at him at this, “Yeah.. You know, I want to hear your opinions on things. I want you to make decisions. I want you to make some hobbies, find things that interests you. Do you get what I’m saying?” 

Isak nodded a bit. “.. Kind of, sir. “ 

“Well, all I’m saying is – I just don’t want you to be afraid of me, “

Isak swallowed a little bit, “I’m not afraid of you, sir. “ 

“No, you’re right. But you’re afraid of constantly messing up, and _that’s_ not right. Don’t be so harsh on yourself, Isak. “ 

“Okay. “ 

Even sent him an apologetic look; like he knew that it would be hard for Isak to stop worrying so much. In fact, what Even had said, only worried him more. Isak wasn’t very fond of change. 

Changes were so... _unpredictable,_ you never know if it’s for the worse or for the best. When something bad happens, a bad change, people always tell each other that everything is going to turn out fine for you. But you don’t know that, you can’t know that, no, not for sure – things could, in fact, get way worse. Horrific, even, if God decides to be extra mean to you. 

“Let’s head back home, yeah?” Even was about to get up from the bench, and Isak glanced over at him. For some reason, Isak didn’t want to go home – not yet, so in the heat of the moment, he grabbed Even’s hand and pulled him back onto the bench when he tried to stand up.

Even gazed over at him in confusion, and Isak leaned closer towards him. It was sudden, and what people would say _‘completely out of the blue’,_ when Isak hesitantly kissed his cheek, slowly and carefully. He couldn’t help but be hesitant, what if it had all been a test? What if Even would slap him, punish him, or worse – send him away? 

So when Isak only got a lovable laughter in response, it shocked him how much that touched him, how it almost had made his heart melt at the sight. His lips tugged up involuntarily.

Isak’s had many troublesome masters in the past. There was no doubt about that. They’d starve him and abuse him, but in that moment, he concluded that Even had been the most troublesome one yet. You know, for abusing his senses - and causing such unfamiliar, _but warm and delightful feelings inside of him that he couldn’t control._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to follow my twitter at [here](https://twitter.com/notyourvera) for writing updates! tweets under the hashtag #pandcontrol would make me really happy, please let me know what y'all think <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minutes passed before he spoke up, and he looked over at Isak who was glancing at him, bewildered and confused, their eyes meeting. _“What the hell are you looking at?”_ Even barked at him, his voice being surprisingly cold and rough. He wasn’t sure why. It was as if he didn’t want to be so harsh, but at the same time, he couldn’t help himself not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... three months later and another chapter.  
>  i'm honestly ashamed of myself for being like this at this point.  
> i'm extremely sorry for letting people down over and over with these late updates. it's not a right thing of me to do, but i actually have the next three chapters planned out (??)  
> , so hopefully i'll post those wayyyy quicker.

When Even a couple of years ago got together with Sonja, he had never thought he'd be able to possibly cheat on her. He had loved her from the bottom of his heart and admired her for even the smallest things. Like how she'd always manage to cheer him up by just flashing him a smile, and how she would leave little notes for him for whenever he was at work and would eventually come back to find them. 

He had fancied how she would sometimes run her hand through his hair when she thought he was asleep, or randomly kiss him on the cheek. He'd loved her, and even though he wanted to think he still did, wanted to promise to himself that this was just a phase, he actually wasn't that sure anymore. Ever since Even got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Sonja had slowly seemed to change how she'd act towards him.

Whenever he felt happy, got less sleep than normal, or talked a bit too fast, she'd ask him if he had taken his medicine. He hadn't noticed it at first, but she'd started to exclude him from parties, and instead of them visiting her family together like they always did in the holidays, she'd gone without him. It almost seemed like Sonja was ashamed of her boyfriend’s condition. And the worst part of it was that Even could perfectly see why, despite getting upset at it first. 

They were both well-educated people coming from rich and upper-class families, and out of all the wonderful people Sonja could've fallen in love with; she'd fallen in love with what turned out to be the black sheep of the family, and for that, he used to be ashamed and feel sorry. But nowadays, he had to admit he only seemed to feel anger towards his fiancée. 

And as dumb as it was, when Isak and Even rushed their way home, he still hadn't expected the outrage he'd get from his once upon a time beloved. 

Even sent Isak a smile as they both walked up towards the front door. They were holding hands, his long fingers laced with Isak’s tiny ones, their palms kissing. Isak glanced over at him, that little sparkle still brightening up his soft eyes. 

With his free hand, he opened the unclosed door and stepped inside, slowly dragging Isak with him, who was more than willing to follow him, in the first place. Even let go of Isak’s hand, took of his shoes, and gestured towards Isak to take his off. It made him a bit happy to see that the younger one had started taking them off without his approval, that was progress – right? Even was pretty sure he had gotten it by now, but yet, Isak seemed to hesitate to do even the tiniest things. But not now, for here he was, taking his shoes off without Even’s approval. It sounded silly, but it made his heart flutter a bit, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight. 

They both walked into the living room, and even though Even didn’t want it to, Even’s smile slowly faded as he saw Sonja sitting in the sofa, glancing over at the boys, who’d been gone for who knows how many hours? 

Her eyes seemed stern, as she got up from the sofa and walked over in his direction. Even plastered a smile onto his face, “Hey, ” He greeted her, his voice a bit unsteady, as his fiancée was now standing right in front of him. 

Even didn’t exactly know why he acted like this, but in the heat of the moment, that seemed to most reasonable. To just act like nothing had happened, like he hadn’t just a couple of hours ago sneaked out of the house with what he assumed to be the person Sonja disliked the most at the moment. 

Sonja raised an eyebrow at him, as she shook her head a little bit. Their eyes met, and Sonja’s eyes looked at him like she had caught a deer in headlights. And maybe, she had. 

She lifted her hand in silence, and Even was about to say something as her hand connected with his face. 

_Smack._

The slap was as loud as a clap and stung his face. It had been an open-handed smack, leaving a red welt behind. His mouth dropped wide open, clutching his cheek, and whatever he had in mind telling her didn’t seem to fit the situation as the words had left him. 

“I’m tired of your bullshit!” Sonja downright yelled at him, her eyes burning with anger, leaving him at a loss of words. Regret washed over him like the long, slow waves on a shallow beach. 

Everything was moving in slow motion, as she pointed a shaky finger at him, “Why do you keep doing this to me?! All these years, I’ve always stayed true to you. I’ve never betrayed you, strayed, abandoned you. I’ve showed you over and over that I would do anything to keep you safe, yet you still think it’s acceptable to.. leave me for someone like that!” She stated, and Even could see the tears forming in her eyes. His mind was blank, and the guilt sat not on his chest, but inside his mind. 

“Don’t you have anything to say? I poured my heart out to you, Even, please, tell me what you’re thinking, ” Her voice had softened, as a lone tear traced down her cheek. 

He searched his mind for something reasonable to say, something that’d make her understand, but then again, maybe something like that didn’t exist. He faltered as he spoke, “I-Im.. sorry, ” 

To his surprise, Sonja started chuckling at him, as tears kept running silently down her cheeks, “You’re sorry?” 

As if something snapped him out of his loss of words, Even nodded, “Sonja.. I know, but –” 

“No.. spare your excuses, ” She interrupted him, “I know when I’m not wanted, ” was all she said before abruptly turning and walking away. Even didn’t know what to do, so he just ended up standing there – his mind unable to function, staring after Sonja who had pushed Isak a bit to get past him, stopping by the door. 

She turned around, facing him, and a bittersweet smile could be seen on her face. “I think you should fix yourself, Even, “ She said, her voice shaking a bit, as she looked at her hand and started to take off the ring he had bought her. 

“Because.. _this,_ “ She began, and despite struggling a bit to get it off – she tossed the ring onto the floor. “Is over, “ Her words snarled at him, as she turned around one last time, and left the room. 

Even didn’t go after her when he heard the noises of her taking on her shoes and throwing a jacket on. 

The squeaking sound of the front door opening had never been louder to Even, and when it closed, he wasn’t fully aware of what had just happened. A strange feeling washed over him; too familiar, yet too strange. He wanted to smile out of relief, how he’d just broken up with a person that had done him wrong lately, that had somewhat started to piece by piece tear his freedom apart. 

But he just couldn’t. It was as if something in him grabbed his heart tightly, and the brightness that was inside of him was gulped by something dark. Or maybe not dark, but something empty. _Oh god – what was he supposed to do now? What would people think of him? What was his family going to say?_

It was as if a storm had occurred inside his mind, his thoughts being everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Minutes passed before he spoke up, and he looked over at Isak who was glancing at him, bewildered and confused, their eyes meeting. 

“What the hell are you looking at?” Even barked at him, his voice being surprisingly cold and rough. He wasn’t sure why. It was as if he didn’t want to be so harsh, but at the same time, he couldn’t help himself not to. 

The unfriendly voice of his seemed to startle Isak however, his eyes widening at bit, as his mouth hung with his lips slightly parted. 

Even sighed as he tore away his gaze from the younger man, and walked over to the shelf behind the sofa, grabbing a grey key. He then turned around and started walking in Isak’s direction. To Isak’s surprise, Even only muttered a _“Move, “_ as he shoved him a little bit, revealing the now open door that he had been standing by. 

Even ran a hand through his hair as he walked into their hallway, put on some shoes, a jacket, and hurried out the front door. There was no wind outside, and hadn’t it been for the biting cold Even wouldn’t have noticed the air at all. One could describe the air as like that in a walk-in-freezer, it had a certain moistness to it, but it was cold as hell. 

He fished out his phone out from his pocket and started to head towards his car. Even opened his contact list, and started dialling the only person he thought could help him unwind a little bit, if only for just a split second. 

“Hey, Yousef. 

_– You home?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was extremely short whoops, but aye, sonja's out of the picture at least
> 
> .. or is she?
> 
> who knows :D
> 
> feel free to follow my twitter at [here](https://twitter.com/notyourvera) for writing updates! tweets under the hashtag #pandcontrol would make me really happy, please let me know what y'all think <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d never understood how some people liked the sensory calm that isolation could bring. For Isak, being alone was one of his worst nightmares. With no one to talk to and nothing to do, his deepest fears would crawl back to him, insisting on burying themselves in his chest, making his heart beat faster and faster.

It wasn’t until Isak heard the front door opening and closing that he realised what had just happened. Even had just broken up with Sonja, his fiancée, the person he was supposed to marry, hold at night, and maybe get kids within a few years with. At least, that was what his books had described couples as when he was younger.

But despite his lack of knowledge when it came to most things, Isak knew love wasn’t easy like that. He’d quickly learnt that from his previous masters who’d get new partners every other week, often more than one at a time as well. Love wasn’t easy, Isak wasn’t even quite sure what the word meant at this point, but he knew that something always came and ruined everything. 

_Had Isak just done that?_

Had he just ruined his master’s, no, _Even’s,_ perfectly functioning relationship because of something he must have done? He wasn’t quite sure what, but oh, Isak must have done something bad to cause him to get so angry at him! 

Isak stood still as he thought about all of his actions, trying to desperately find out what he had done to leave such a mess. Cause’ it was his fault, right? It must’ve been, what was he even thinking – of course it was his fault. Isak didn’t know what he had done, but it must’ve been pretty awful considering he couldn’t even remember it.

And then it hit him. In the garden, when Even had told him it was time to go home – he had grabbed Even’s hand, forcing him back onto the bench. _Against his will, maybe._ Even had looked at him in confusion, or that’s what Isak had thought at least.

But now that he was thinking about it, picturing everything in his head, could it possibly have been something else? Had Isak misread his expression, his ability to read how others felt lacking? He closed his eyes as he pictured what had happened, how Isak had leant into his master, and pressed a tiny kiss on his cheek. That was it, right? It must’ve been, _it just had to be!_

One second passed. Two seconds passed. Three seconds passed.

Isak could feel the guilt starting to wash over him, starting to eat and pester him there he was still standing in the living room. The panic began to enter him, his tension growing in his face – his mind replaying the memory, over and over again. 

Oh god, how could he be so stupid? How could he allow himself to act so freely? Sonja’s words echoed in his mind, how _he just seemed to take advantage of Even’s kindness,_ and he was pretty sure Sonja was right. Because he had taken most of the things Even had done for him for granted, he had given him food, a nice bed, and even let him outside! _Outside, of all things!_

Most of his previous masters hadn’t let him go outside once, and thinking about it, Even had let him outside for Isak’s own amusement. And dumb, stupid, Isak had taken everything for granted! 

He wanted to blame it on Even, how his energy just seemed to make him relax, replacing his constant fear of messing up with warmth and kind words. But it wasn’t his fault, cause’ Even had just gotten mad at him, he had even cursed at Isak, which usually never meant good. 

Isak had misbehaved and now he was alone in his master’s house for god knows how long. He was alone, all alone, and everything was his fault and only his. 

He could feel his breathing become more rapidly, more shallow. His thoughts and memories accelerated in his head, and he wanted them to go slow, so he could breath, but they wouldn’t let him. 

Isak’s breaths started to come in grasps and at that moment, he was pretty sure he was about to pass out. It was as if his heart kept hammering inside his chest and wouldn’t stop. He felt sick. 

He sat down on the floor and started hugging his knees. Isak tried to stay still, he really did, but for some reason he just couldn’t, as he started rocking, faster and faster. 

Isak didn’t even notice when the tears burst forth like rain from the clouds, spilling down his face. He could feel the muscles of his chin tremble like a small child, and he tried to grab onto something for support as he felt his body starting to shake, but to his unfortune he wasn’t in the reach of anything besides the door and the walls. 

Isak had always been so self-conscious when he cried, his mind constantly telling him to man up – to stop sipping like a bad and selfish slave, that it was his fault to begin with. But now, he just couldn’t stop himself as he sobbed into his tiny hands. 

Everything kept spinning faster and faster as he searched the tidy room for someone to speak to, to at least considering helping him out, but as expected, nobody was there. Nobody was there. _Nobody was there._

He didn’t know what to do, nor what was happening to him – all he knew was that Even was too far away, he’s gone, left him alone, _breathe,_ nowhere to be seen, too far away, _breathe,_ left him alone, _blackness,_ the stairs were too far away, _blackness,_ he’s gone, Even’s gone... 

He’d never understood how some people liked the sensory calm that isolation could bring. For Isak, being alone was one of his worst nightmares. With no one to talk to and nothing to do, his deepest fears would crawl back to him, insisting on burying themselves in his chest, making his heart beat faster and faster. 

In situations like this, Isak liked to drift away, letting his imagination take over him as he pictured his life in a different place, a whole another world – if not universe, just thinking about how things would’ve been different if he’d just been born to another family in a different setting.  
Escaping reality was easy for him. But then again, there was only so long he could hide from it before it would eventually tear down his walls. 

And at that moment, Isak couldn’t help but let the creeping blackness take over him. 

-

Slowly, he uncovered his face. He blinked, closed his eyes for a moment, and blinked one more time. Isak sat up, rubbing his knuckles onto his eyes. His muscles felt weak, the same did his energy, and he glanced up towards one of the many windows in the living room. 

He noticed that it was starting to get a bit dark outside, and it looked almost gloomy. Isak concluded that he couldn’t have been out of it for a long period of time, thirty minutes at most, and he sighed a little bit as he stood up from the floor. 

He rubbed his eyes some more, as he made his way into the hallway – looking for the stairs that would eventually lead him upstairs. Isak felt heavy, walking unusually slowly, as if his brain was struggling to tell each foot to just take another step. 

_‘I need some water, ‘_ Isak thought to himself and decided to head into the kitchen before heading upstairs. 

Isak quickly became aware of the fact that Even was still gone, and now that he was thinking about it, he felt himself get a bit ashamed from passing out. Isak had thought that he’d misbehaved, and by not having one by his side to confirm if he had done so or not, he’d freaked out.  
He’d freaked out because he was alone and unable to separate what was right or wrong. When he eventually came into the kitchen, he walked over to one of the drawers – and carefully took out one of the glasses. 

It wasn’t typical of him to just go and grab something to drink, nor something to eat. Most of his life, water had been a wishful dream, and food was a concept not even worth the effort of hoping for. 

But this time, Isak couldn’t help himself. He felt.. _weird,_ almost empty, as if his constant worries had decided to take a small break. Plus, Even was out – and he remembered that Even had told him that he shouldn’t be afraid of doing things on his own, so he prayed to the gods that him taking a glass of water wouldn’t be too much of a thing to do. 

He poured some water into the glass, looked at it for a brief moment, before pressing the glass to his lips, letting his tongue taste the icy, cold liquid. It felt refreshing, and Isak found himself drinking up all of the energizing water in less than a minute. 

Finished, he placed the glass down at the counter by the sink and turned around to continue making his way upstairs. Isak couldn’t help but wonder where Even was, what he was up to, and how long he was planning to stay out of his home. 

Despite the fact that Even had been gone for two hours at the most, he found himself missing his master as he walked up the stairs. It was silly, _he knew, but he could almost swear that whenever he was with Even – his pain would stop, and his days would feel as sweet as gingerbread did._

__

__

Isak started to walk down the hallway after reaching the top of the staircase, and instead of stopping by the door that leaded one into his room, he couldn’t help but start to walk further down the hallway, a path he hadn’t walked down very often. 

Without realising it quite himself, he found himself walking all the way down the hallway, stopping by the door that would lead him out to the balcony that revealed the household’s beautiful garden. Isak reached for the door handle but hesitated to pull it. 

He wasn’t sure why, but for some reason, he seemed to conclude that the breakup wasn’t his fault. 

Don’t get him wrong, _he did still blame himself,_ there was no doubt in that... He just didn’t blame himself as much as he had done just half an hour ago. Why? You see, it just didn’t make much sense to him – how Even had reacted towards him. And maybe he was selfish for thinking so, but he could remember Even telling him when they first met that if Isak was nice to him and behaved, Even would do the same. 

And oh, how selfish he must be, for truly thinking that Even hadn’t held his words in that moment. Isak just couldn’t remember what he could possibly have done wrong, and from his perspective, he had only caused the older one happiness lately. Sure, he had been quite a mess in the beginning, but that was a long time ago and wouldn’t make such troubles. _Right?_

Isak breathed a little bit as he pulled the door open, revealing the formal garden that he somewhat thought would give him some peace. He tilted his head a little bit, glancing at all the different flowers and trees, as his lips lifted upwards. 

No matter how many times Isak looked at flowers, he never got tired of them and their sweet fragrance. Each one of them was a delicate bloom, no matter if it was in a garden like this or in waste land. He just thought that the flowers were almost... _too pretty to look at,_ admiring them like an art lover would admire the paintings in a museum. 

For some reason, Isak couldn’t help but think of dandelions. It made him a bit sad, how they hadn’t found some in the park they had been to. Isak still didn’t get why Even, and everyone else, would call dandelions weeds. It made him a bit sad, how that bright, cheerful and vibrant flower could be a bother to anyone’s garden or land.  
His smile faded a little bit as he thought of Even again. He had looked upset, and Isak had felt bad for just freezing completely. He closed his eyes as he looked back at the scene, sort of wishing he could go back in time and try to convince his master that everything was and would be fine. 

He couldn’t help but let another egoistical thought enter his mind, thinking about how much more he had enjoyed having Even as a master in comparison to Sonja as his mistress. Sonja was more fitting to the role, her looks and words reminding him a little bit of how his previous masters would act towards him. But Even had just been so.. _kind,_ and he truly felt blessed for having at least one of his masters being so gentle towards him. 

He thought of the first time he had placed his feet on the balcony, back when Even had shown him all the rooms and places within the house. 

Isak shrugged as he turned around to head inside again. 

For some reason, the balcony, nor the garden, didn’t seem to give him that same feeling of being safe anymore like it had just minutes earlier. 

How unfortunate. 

____ _

__

Isak could only sleep when he was exhausted or being ordered to do so. After laying in his bed for what he assumed to be hours, he wanted nothing more than to be enveloped by the warmth of silence. When he’d come inside again, he’d walked straight to his room and changed into some white oversized t-shirt that had been placed in one of his drawers. He’d neatly put his clothes beside his bed and decided that some sleep would do him good. 

He lied in his bed as if asleep, until his side got painful and he had to shift to his back or other side. The long minutes kept dragging into long hours, and Isak sighed wearily. Clearly unable to sleep, he sat upright on the bed. The night was quiet, as he looked outside the tiny window that his room had. 

He didn’t know what time it was, and the almost absolute darkness had taken over outside. Isak couldn’t even see his hand in front of his face when he had tried it out, and the moon had waned to almost nothing at this point. 

He studied the total darkness that was outside for some moments and didn’t even take notice when he started to fiddle with the oval ring on his collar, that was still placed around his neck. Isak was a little bit startled when he how he was fiddling with the ring, and as oddly as it sounded, Isak had almost forgotten about the collar on his neck. Or well, he hadn’t _forgotten it,_ it was more like he had gotten way too used to it and stopped taking a notice of it anymore. 

He started letting his fingers trace the collar, touching the navy-blue leather softly. The material had always been so comfortable around his neck, which was probably why he hadn’t even given the thing a second thought when he’d taken on his clothes in the morning. 

__

Isak was about to sink down into the mattress again, try to finally get some sleep, as he heard the screech of tires coming from what he assumed to be the front of the house. Frozen, Isak sat still, wondering if he had just imagined the sound. 

Soon enough, he heard a sound downstairs. It sounded like a door opening, and like a child on Christmas Eve, Isak found himself jumping straight out of the bed, running towards the door in hopes of it being Even’s car that had caused the noises. He hurried past the hallway and had to slow down his pace in order to not fall down the stairs as he step by step came closer to his wanted destination. 

When he finally came downstairs, Isak was met by Even struggling to take his shoes off. Isak watched him quietly, suddenly feeling out of place as his little hope had turned into a worry and he could feel himself starting to get nervous. 

Even placed both of his shoes by the others, and it felt as if time stopped when he looked up at Isak, their eyes meeting. He couldn’t help but think that his eyes seemed different, almost as if Isak could see the sadness welling behind them. 

The other man closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of dewy air, before he opened them again, studying Isak for a few moments before parting his lips. 

__

“Isak.. I am so sorry, ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo!! so yeah, here's chapter 8.  
> the next chapter is going to go back in time and be from even's perspective and what happened at yousef's place basically ;)
> 
> feel free to follow my twitter at [here](https://twitter.com/notyourvera) for writing updates! tweets under the hashtag #pandcontrol would make me really happy, please let me know what y'all think <3


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